to top

What Will Love Feel Like? A Letter to my son or daughter.

When you’re young, you wonder what love will feel like.  You read about it and skittishly walk around it, holding someones hand or taking someone to a dance.

Then one day it happens and all at once you’re sick with it.  Obsessed and infatuated with that other person, wanting to know their whereabouts, what they are thinking and wearing and eating.. who they are talking to and are they talking about YOU and if they aren’t then why not?  And if they are, is it because they too feel what you feel and is any of this real anyways?

Then things get tricky, and people lie and cheat and break that bubble of affection and excitement that comes with first love.  Why?  Because your young and you have lots of mistakes to make before you know what it is you really want.  “Oh what a load of bullshit”, you’ll say, and dig into the ice cream and blast U2 on the stereo in the rain.  And you swear you’ll never love anyone or anything again because god it hurts to be hurt.  And it’s so disappointing but really, what were you thinking, loving so hard your first time at bat and feeling like it would stay that way forever?  The heart is strong but get stronger with a few breaks and tears along the way.

Then comes the intellectual love.  The love that you know you should pursue.  The guy or girl that makes your family happy and is nice enough and dresses well and has a career.  It’s perfect… perfect-ly fine.  It’s reserved love.  Dutiful love.  And you convince yourself that’s what you were after all this time.  That silly, childlike adoration and infatuation of your past was just that- silly childlike lovey-dovey crap.  This is “adult” love.  Professional love.  Love in a suit and tie from 9 to 5 that eats brunch with your parents and looks great on a Facebook profile.  And your heart dies a little inside while it succombs to the boredom of your spirit.

And then you wander.  In a vacuous hole of wavering self-worth and seeming lack of any direction.  Through nights with dumb guys and hot girls.. all the while pretending this is what you’re “supposed” to be doing because it’s what everyone else is doing right?  And you’re still young-ish and dear god, thank the LORD you didn’t marry that first love because you’d probably be miserable and divorced by now (but secretly you yearn for something as pure and sweet at that was because now everything feels empty and lonely and like it will never mean anything again).  And you wonder if you blew it.  Or if you’ll every find anyone who will get you.  Who you won’t be “performing” for or “settling” for…

And then you’re single.  Or maybe in a comfortable relationship that will run it’s course and you wonder if this is your fate.  A life with this person.  And you sort of give up and resign yourself to knowing that will be it.  And this is just how it is.  Love is hard.  And it’s work and all of that and maybe you’re better off single.  Or in a relationship you can tolerate.

And then it happens.

Someone comes in to your life.  As a friend usually.  Likely someone who is unavailable.  So they are safe.  Nothing is going to happen.  Because they are with someone.  Or you are… or you both are.  So there’s no guard up.  You just let yourself be seen to them, which is totally different than ever before when you were playing the game, or keeping up pretenses or pretending to be happy or tolerating your life.  There is vulnerability.  Sadness.  Reality.  And that person finds it beautiful.  And suddenly for the first time since you were a kid, you love again with abandon, unafraid of looking stupid or being rejected because it’s safe.  This person has really seen you… when you weren’t looking for them and loved you all the same.  The good and the bad: the ugly, the amazing, the mean, the graceful, the confident, the scared, the joyous, the insecure, the drunk, the knowing, the wise, the needy, the fun and the complicated… the everything.  They have seen it all in you and accepted and LOVED you for (or despite) it all.

And you feel at home.  For the first time in a long time, you feel perfectly at home in your own skin.  And it’s all the best things of all the ventures before… the childhood love of infatuation and sillyness, the intellectual love that reasons and plans, the wild love of lust and passion, the comfort love of knowing that person has your back- forever.

When you know, you know.

What a dumb phrase and one that is so overused and trite… but each person’s journey there is different.  Usually not pretty, not linear, and definitely confusing and heartbreaking – but essential.

So essentially, what does love feel like to me?

Kinetic, warmth, passion, romance, understanding, support, belief, protection, value, compassion, laughter, comfort, joy, healing, family….


Christine Lakin

  • hifu

    … [Trackback]

    […] Info to that Topic: […]

    September 28, 2019 at 7:56 am
  • elly white

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you can find 11880 more Info on that Topic: […]

    September 28, 2019 at 10:37 pm
  • 온라인카지노

    … [Trackback]

    […] Info on that Topic: […]

    September 30, 2019 at 7:18 pm
  • Creative Agency in Orlando

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on that Topic: […]

    October 2, 2019 at 1:58 am
  • link bong88

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you can find 74483 additional Info on that Topic: […]

    October 24, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • nha cai uy tin fun88

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on on that Topic: […]

    October 25, 2019 at 2:09 am
  • gifts for her

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on to that Topic: […]

    October 26, 2019 at 9:50 am
  • Pyrabank smart ontract

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you can find 55144 more Information to that Topic: […]

    October 26, 2019 at 10:48 am

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on that Topic: […]

    October 28, 2019 at 9:46 am

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you can find 3485 additional Information on that Topic: […]

    October 31, 2019 at 2:57 am
  • Sendlane Review

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Information here on that Topic: […]

    November 2, 2019 at 5:07 pm
  • laguqq

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here to that Topic: […]

    November 4, 2019 at 2:04 pm
  • cornhole board lights

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: […]

    November 6, 2019 at 8:38 pm
  • Dentist in Holbrooks Coventry.

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Info here on that Topic: […]

    November 7, 2019 at 4:47 am
  • Empire Market

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: […]

    November 7, 2019 at 12:27 pm
  • Dream Market

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 2502 more Information to that Topic: […]

    November 7, 2019 at 2:23 pm
  • Drogen

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Info here to that Topic: […]

    November 7, 2019 at 5:05 pm
  • เงินด่วนนอกระบบ

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 57059 more Info on that Topic: […]

    November 9, 2019 at 1:11 pm
  • ww88

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here to that Topic: […]

    November 10, 2019 at 3:12 am
  • Agartha Market

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More to that Topic: […]

    November 12, 2019 at 6:27 am

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here to that Topic: […]

    November 12, 2019 at 7:41 pm
  • Zinc Chemicals Market Growth, Analysis of Key Players, Trends, Drivers

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you will find 16264 additional Info to that Topic: […]

    November 13, 2019 at 10:21 am
  • Darknet

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: […]

    November 13, 2019 at 11:06 am
  • Sex toys

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: […]

    November 15, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: […]

    November 17, 2019 at 3:00 pm
  • 2018 tesla model 3

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: […]

    November 20, 2019 at 1:25 am
  • uniccshop

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on to that Topic: […]

    November 20, 2019 at 4:50 am

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on to that Topic: […]

    November 25, 2019 at 12:56 pm
  • cá độ online

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you can find 99314 more Info on that Topic: […]

    November 28, 2019 at 1:14 am
  • indoqq

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Information here on that Topic: […]

    November 28, 2019 at 4:40 pm
  • 2020 Cover Economist

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you can find 6368 more Information on that Topic: […]

    November 28, 2019 at 10:38 pm
  • ca cuoc

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Info here to that Topic: […]

    November 29, 2019 at 1:35 am
  • Melanie Bowen

    I liked your blog so much.

    I would like to thank you for the contribution.

    November 30, 2019 at 3:08 am
  • qiuqiu99

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: […]

    December 1, 2019 at 3:43 pm
  • honda qq

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: […]

    December 2, 2019 at 10:13 am
  • saranapoker1

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: […]

    December 2, 2019 at 11:07 am

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 85940 more Info to that Topic: […]

    December 2, 2019 at 12:16 pm
  • web design company

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on to that Topic: […]

    December 2, 2019 at 1:14 pm
  • แทงบอลออนไลน์

    … [Trackback]

    […] Info on that Topic: […]

    December 3, 2019 at 6:08 am
  • paris qq

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Information here on that Topic: […]

    December 3, 2019 at 11:06 am
  • hidup sehat

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on that Topic: […]

    December 6, 2019 at 2:41 pm
  • mortgage calculator canada

    I found the best mortgage calculator.

    This is the best Canadian mortgage calculator that is out there.

    December 9, 2019 at 9:13 pm
  • land for sale squamish bc

    I found land for sale in Squamish.

    Really good land for sale in Squamish BC.

    December 14, 2019 at 9:50 pm
  • mortgage broker

    I found the best mortgage broker.

    This Vancouver mortgage broker helped me to get the best deal.

    December 15, 2019 at 1:25 am
  • south african free dating sites

    free online dating sites for singles

    May 31, 2021 at 11:32 am
  • free dating search

    free online dating site in usa without payment

    June 1, 2021 at 1:22 pm
  • top 10 uk free dating sites

    how to find out if someone is on a dating site for free

    June 1, 2021 at 6:31 pm
  • 100%free international dating sites

    free online dating blk ppl

    June 1, 2021 at 8:20 pm
  • 100 free dating sites in us

    free brazilian dating sites online

    June 1, 2021 at 11:46 pm
  • 100% usa free online dating site free to send and replay too messages

    free dating online dating united states texas 1

    June 24, 2021 at 4:31 am
  • kenyan dating sites free

    free online dating sites for gamers

    June 24, 2021 at 6:05 am
  • lumen dating free

    free rocker dating site

    June 24, 2021 at 11:53 am
  • free dating sites no fees over 40

    seniors dating free

    June 25, 2021 at 1:52 am
  • free sugar mummy dating site

    christian dating nz free

    June 25, 2021 at 4:37 pm
  • the keto reset diet

    keto diet calories per day

    July 6, 2021 at 4:05 pm
  • keto diet reddit

    keto diet delivery

    July 6, 2021 at 8:03 pm
  • start keto diet

    keto chicken broccoli casserole

    July 7, 2021 at 5:39 am
  • hydroxychloroquine 200 mg cost

    plaquenil 100mg

    hydroxychloroquine 200mg 60 tablets

    July 26, 2021 at 2:57 am
  • cialis free trial

    online buy cialis

    cialis 36 hour online

    July 31, 2021 at 6:23 am
  • get viagra prescribed online

    can you buy viagra mexico

    viagra no prescription australia

    August 2, 2021 at 10:00 am
  • zithromax online paypal

    zithromax 1000 mg online

    zithromax tablets

    August 12, 2021 at 12:40 am
  • StevenAcuro

    cialis 5mg best price
    buying cialis from canada cialis canadian pharmacy’s pfizer viagra viagra online [url=]5mg cialis[/url] buy cialis is there a generic cialis drugs canada buying viagra from canada [url=]generic viagra pills[/url]
    viagra generic online discount canadian pharmacies how to use viagra cialis lowest price [url=]price viagra[/url]

    August 15, 2021 at 10:10 am
  • StevenAcuro

    buy viagra australia
    how to take viagra rx meds walmart medication list drug store online [url=]medication without prescription[/url] viagra purchase canadian.cialis canada viagra online cialis canadian pharmacy [url=]viamedic .com[/url]
    cialis cheap canada viagra and high blood pressure buy viagra uk alcohol and viagra [url=]overseas pharmacy[/url]

    August 15, 2021 at 8:11 pm
  • RogerDes

    buy cheap viagra online uk
    medications in canada canadian pharmacies without prescriptions generic pharmacy india canadian-pharcharmy- [url=]cialis or generic canada[/url] cialis in canadian pharmacies cheap canadian viagra pharmaceuticals from canada viagra directions [url=]order cialis online canada[/url]
    cheap viagra without prescription generic cialis ed medications canada.viagra [url=]viagra and women[/url]

    August 16, 2021 at 3:41 pm
  • Lloydhoasy

    free viagra sample pack
    buy cialis from canada canadian pharmacy cialis for daily use viagra 100mg price indian pharma [url=]canadian drug store[/url] buy cheap viagra online buy viagra from canada canadian generic viagra buy brand viagra [url=][/url]
    cost of cialis buying medications in canada buying viagra online ed drugs – canada [url=]viagra buy now[/url]

    August 20, 2021 at 9:24 am
  • Joshuacag

    canadian pharmacy without prescription
    calis canadian pharmacy viagra buy viagra in canada buy generic viagra online [url=]best canadian drugstore[/url] viagra online cheap cialis online canadian pharmacy purchase viagra professional generic cialis online pharmacy [url=]canada drugstore[/url]
    mail order viagra canadian pharmacy viagra canadian meds viagra buy canadian drugs without prescription [url=][/url]

    August 21, 2021 at 11:34 pm
  • hydroxychloroquine drug

    plaquenil 300

    hydroxychloroquine sulfate tabs

    August 23, 2021 at 9:27 am
  • Barrypek

    viagra pill
    viagra canada online cheap cialis from canada canada pills low cost viagra [url=]canadian prescription[/url] the canadian pharmacy drug store online canada viagra online viagra no prescription [url=]natural alternative viagra[/url]
    how much is viagra costco online online generic viagra tadalafil from canada [url=]shopping online canada[/url]

    August 23, 2021 at 12:29 pm
  • Barrypek

    viagra brand for sale
    cialis usa pharmacy tadalafil india pharmacy canadian drug buy viagra online without a prescription [url=]viagra for sale online[/url] viagra 100 rx canada viagra forum [url=]cialis- canadian pharmacy[/url]
    india pharmacy viagra canadian meds viagra buy online cialis canadian pharmacy [url=]viagra in canada[/url]

    August 24, 2021 at 1:05 am
  • cialis 10mg ireland

    cialis 20 mg soft

    overnight cialis delivery

    August 25, 2021 at 4:52 am
  • danish gay dating

    gay dating site 25 years old

    September 1, 2021 at 9:09 am
  • gay smell dating

    is is barry jenkins dating gay

    September 1, 2021 at 1:39 pm
  • legitimate canadian pharmaceuticals online

    weight loss pills from canada

    order diet pills from canada

    September 6, 2021 at 6:13 pm
  • gay dating savannah ga

    gay vs straiight dating

    September 9, 2021 at 2:23 am
  • gay online dating games

    gay dating sites san francisco

    September 9, 2021 at 2:34 am
  • latin gay men dating

    free gay dating cruising sites

    September 9, 2021 at 12:09 pm
  • gay chubs dating sites

    gay dating websites ireland

    September 11, 2021 at 12:37 am
  • secret gay dating

    dating in modern gay culture

    September 11, 2021 at 8:57 am
  • gay dating phoenix k

    gay dating service pittsburgh

    September 11, 2021 at 11:50 am
  • buy ivermectin pills

    ivermectin 200mg

    generic ivermectin cream

    September 14, 2021 at 6:02 pm
  • ivermectin 3mg pill

    ivermectin ebay

    ivermectin 1 cream

    September 15, 2021 at 11:04 am

    September 20, 2021 at 4:27 am
  • sildenafil in canada

    sildenafil canada price

    sildenafil 20mg online prescription

    September 22, 2021 at 7:31 pm
  • plaquenil osteoarthritis

    plaquenil oct

    cheapest plaquenil

    September 23, 2021 at 1:54 pm
  • новые танцы на тнт 2021 онлайн

    новые танцы на тнт онлайн бесплатно новые танцы онлайн новые танцы 4 новые танцы 2021
    смотреть онлайн

    September 25, 2021 at 10:52 pm
  • американская история ужасов 9

    s?dkurier, coinmarketcap американская история ужасов 9 crazy factory, suits

    September 26, 2021 at 10:51 am
  • битва экстрасенсов онлайн бесплатно

    [НОВЫЙ СЕЗОН] Битва экстрасенсов смотреть онлайн
    25 сентября битва экстрасенсов онлайн бесплатно битва
    экстрасенсов 2021 дата

    September 26, 2021 at 11:50 am

Leave a Comment